Tales From Her Rocking Chair
by ScarletParanoia2993
Summary: "I love to watch you, baby." Drabble!Fic. Join Football Captain Stalker-ward, as he stalks Geek-ella in her childhood bedroom. Insert one Jacob Black with a gazillion ab muscles, and we have one messed up story. Song - Every Breath You Take; The Police.
1. Every Breath You Take

**A/N: It's a drabble, so I'm going to keep it short. For ushallneverknow, until the very end, because you make me happy, when I'm sad. Inspired by The Police – Every Breath You Take, which is THE stalker anthem. Stalker-ward lives on in our hearts, forever and ever.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; however, I DO own a piece of paper which says "Be Safe" on it.**

* * *

Wow, you look beautiful tonight.

With your hair like a chocolate brown halo around your rosy cheeks. Your breasts rising and falling with every breath you take. That little secret smile on your beautiful pink lips. Are you thinking about _him? _I would love you better than he does baby.

I bet he doesn't treat you like a princess.

You look like a fucking princess, baby…

You are a princess in my motherfucking eyes.

Too bad your eyes are closed. I would give anything to see your beautiful eyes.

I could stare into them, forever.

But you would freak if you saw me here. Call your father, maybe. But he's working the night shift at the Department. I check before I come here. I don't want to get caught. Your dad does have a gun, baby.

Because we've never actually met.

You're always so quiet in school, baby. Why won't you speak to anyone except that stupid mutt?

I know, he would murder me if he saw me in here.

Sitting in his girlfriend's rocking chair, with a prefect view to her bed.

I love watching you baby. I could do this forever.

* * *

**A/N: I'm watching you. **


	2. And Every Move You Make

**A/N: All right, I couldn't resist. One more for the day.**

**For Sakshi, always.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me.**

* * *

I remember the first time that we met. A bunch of friends and I went to egg Mike Newton's house. We managed one wall. But Mrs Newton woke up, and managed to get slimy egg dripping down her blonde hair. She called the police.

So I ran. Em and Jazz got caught. After threats to their man business, they didn't snitch. I ran to the next house, and jumped the fence, and climbed the tree.

The window was open, lucky me. I climbed in, and everything was dark. It took a while to adjust to the darkness. I heard the sirens wailing, and Emmett's screams of "You'll never take me alive, coppers!"

_Fucking oaf. _

But when I turned away from the window, I was greeted to the most beautiful sight.

You.

You, with your tiny little white nightdress, and red lips. You looked like a goddess, baby. Like a porcelain doll. So easily breakable.

But I would take care of you, Bella. You know I would.

I never really understood what I felt when I actually _saw _you for the first time. Yeah, I've looked before. Around school, with Jacob's hands around you.

I saw you look uncomfortable.

I _hoped _you did.

But now I understand.

I'm infatuated with you.

Your face.

Your voice.

Your eyes.

Even your smell.

Yeah, I ventured to chair next to your desk sometimes. I got a great big whiff of your goodness, baby.

Strawberries and freesias and cream.

I think I might love you.

And you don't even know me.

But I'm the motherfucking captain of the football team, baby.

I'll make you love me back.

Yeah, I'm a cocky fucker, and I think you know it.

Do you hate me? Like half the jealous population of our podunk, hick-town school?

I hope you don't, baby.

I wish you would talk to me. I need to hear your voice more.

I need it.

You're my heroin.

And I'm too far in, and I can't get out.

I need you baby.

* * *

**A/N: Still watching you. **


	3. Every Bond You Break

**A/N: Okay. Last one for the day. I swear. God, this is addicting. **

**For Divija. **

**Disclaimer: Don't fucking own this shit. **

* * *

When he's not looking, I see you. I see the contours of your beautiful body, your strong jaw, and the messy auburn hair that I would give my life to run my hands through.

I would do anything to kiss those beautiful lips.

That beautiful, perfectly tanned skin.

The hard muscles of your stomach you got from playing football.

That magnificent trail of hair leading to your pants which I can see as you reach up to get something from your locker.

Yeah, baby. I watch you all the time.

But I love him. I really do.

My heart aches when I'm with him. I don't _know _why I'm still with him. I've seen how he looks at Leah Clearwater.

He looks at her the way…

I look at you.

With longing.

Regret.

Hope.

But you wouldn't want me, would you? I'm just plain old me, and you…

You're beautiful.

Every single girl, and a few boys –Newton's a little suspicious- have looked at you like you're god.

I look at you like that too.

You're my angel. You're a lot of things.

Like the subject of my dreams. Cue instant blush.

I see you in my sleep every heart-breaking day you know.

I dream that I wake up, and I see you sitting there in my rocking chair. Just looking, smiling, and waiting.

For me.

Just for me.

It's so vivid. So real.

God, I hope every single day that my dreams finally come true.

* * *

**A/N: Wherever you hide, I'm still watching.**


	4. Every Step You Take

**A/N: Okay. _THIS_ is the last one. I promise, haha.**

**For Sak.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

I wish that I didn't have to do this to Jacob. But he's doing the same thing to be as well.

But that doesn't make it right.

Sometimes, I wish that you never existed. So it wouldn't have to be so…

_Hard._

And painful.

But sometimes, you're the best thing that ever happened to me.

And you don't even know who I am.

There you go again, walking down the hall, neglecting my existence.

Fuck you, baby.

Wow, you make me go crazy. Bella Swan, cussing.

How atrocious.

I close my locker door, and I feel a stare boring a hole into my back. I hope that it's you.

But I know it's not.

Jacob gives me a big wet sloppy kiss.

I hear a locker door slammed in anger.

I hoped that it was you. I hoped you were jealous.

I felt guilty for that later. Using Jacob to make you jealous. But it's not like you noticed, anyway.

I see you still taking your books out of your locker.

It wasn't you.

I sigh as Jake blocks my line of vision.

I push him away to see you better.

He doesn't realize.

You turn around, and you meet my eyes. You flash me a smirk, and lift your chin in acknowledgement.

I wave back.

Edward Cullen noticed me.

My heart hurt when I realised that you didn't smile for me. It was for Tanya.

I feel humiliated, I felt like an idiot.

Fuck you, baby.

Jake's gone back to eyeing Leah.

I sigh.

* * *

**A/N: Why do you even try? You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape my stalker-eyes.**


	5. Every Single Day

**A/N: Ducks, as keyboards are thrown at me. There's no point tell you that this is the last one for the day, because you know there's gonna be another one.**

**For my Shreka. I'll always want to be your Fionan.**

**Disclaimer: I'm secretly Stephenie Meyer, and I DO own twilight. Oh, who am I kidding? No, I don't own that shit, that Meyer woman does. **

* * *

Isabella Swan.

My best friend. My girlfriend.

One of the most beautiful girls in the world.

Second to only one.

Leah Clearwater.

I know, it's wrong, loving another girl, when I have a pretty, caring girlfriend.

But Leah's just so…

_Bad._

And wrong, and sexy, and gorgeous.

She owns a motherfucking motorcycle.

God, I would fuck her on it.

_BAD JACOB._

This is how most of my day goes. I chastise myself too many times a day for thinking dirty things about my Seth's big undefeatable sister.

But what confuses me the most is when other guys talk about how hot "the Swan-girl" is, I don't get mad anymore. I don't fucking understand.

Being a man isn't very easy, let me tell you.

She's my best friend. I have feelings for her. I have feelings for Leah too. But I can't break up with Bells. Her dad would murder me. And it would make things awkward between us two.

But something told me that my liking Leah and Cullen having the hots for my girlfriend made things awkward enough.

_Cullen._

I know. It's so weird. What would the cherry-popping Spartan Quarterback want to do with innocent, pure Bella Swan? What did _I _ever do with Bella Swan?

She was too…

Innocent.

And I need my abs to be felt up once in a while.

_Dude, you have to break up with her._

I know, I do.

_No point knowing if you don't do it._

Fuck you.

Yeah. Hi, I'm Jacob Ephraim Black, and I talk to myself. A lot.

I have a girlfriend that I want to break up with, and a crush, who's the wet dream of most of Forks High's male and a little bit of female –I have my doubts on that Stanley girl- population. A douchebag is in lust with my girlfriend, and I, as a good boyfriend (not) can't bring myself to care.

You see why I talk to myself.

* * *

**A/N: You look mighty fine through my binoculars today. **


	6. And Every Word You Say

**A/N: And here's the break up. **

**Yeah, yeah, I love you Skashi.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, so don't hate.**

* * *

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Jake?"

_This is it._

"We need to talk."

"Okay, that sounds bad," she said, her nose scrunched up. I used to find that cute.

Not anymore.

"Yeah it is."

"Go on."

_Oh, Bells, I'm so fucking sorry._

"Bella, I don't think that this is working out."

"Oh thank god, I thought that it was only me," she said, letting out a sigh of relief that blew her bangs up into the air.

And _then _my male ego and testosterone took a nose dive into the conversation.

"Well, good. I'm glad that we're done."

_Face palm._

"Thanks Jacob."

"Like I totally don't need you anymore, you know."

_WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING JACOB?_

"No, you don't."

"We don't have to stop being friends, Bella. But I wouldn't have that much time for you now that-"

_Word. Fucking. Vomit._

"Now that _what_, Jacob?" she said, her voice as cold as ice, and fire burning in her eyes.

"Nothing."

"Now that you're available for _Leah, _right?"

_Ouch._

"Well, I need girls who are willing to do more than kiss, Bella," I say, smirking.

To this day, I don't know why the fuck I was still talking.

"Alright Jacob, it's fucking on," she smiled sinisterly and walked away.

_Be scared, she just swore._

I gulped, and prepared for the worst.

Until then, I would have a romp with Leah Clearwater.

I whistled at her.

She hit me.

I flashed my abs at her.

She laughed at me.

I wrote her a love note.

She read it out to the entire class, still laughing.

I gave her roses.

She said she liked wildflowers better.

I gave her my heart.

She gave hers to Paul Lahote.

God, it looks like I'm officially _forever alone._

* * *

**A/N: My, what a pretty computer you have. Well, the better to review with, right? And I'll be looking to make sure you do.**


	7. Every Game You Play

**A/N: Here's the breakup according to Bellikins.**

**Sakshi Divija owns my heart.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and its characters. But this mother-effing plot is all. MINE. All my possession. Boo you. **

* * *

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Jake?"

"We need to talk."

At this sudden turn of events, I was secretly clapping my hands in glee, and doing my happy dance. He was going to break up with me. I didn't have to do it to him.

"Okay, that sounds bad," I say, pretending to look worried. He bought it.

And then he said that it wasn't working out anymore. I gave a sigh of relief. I think I wounded his ego, because he got a little angry.

_Angry, that's an understatement._

The fucker started going on about how he didn't need me, and he wanted a girl who was a little less…

Innocent.

Than me.

Most girls in my position would find a suitable toilet stall. I found a way to flip Jacob Black the bird real subtly (not).

I held my phone up to my face as stealthily as possible and dialled the one person that I thought I would never speak to.

"Hi, Alice Cullen here."

"Yeah, hi, Alice. It's Isabella."

"Bella! What's up?" Her voice sounded kind, and sweet. She was way nicer than the rest of the Populars.

"You want to go shopping this weekend?"

I heard a high pitched squeal on the other side of the phone. And a lot of gibberish.

I think that I would grow to like her a lot.

"Lingerie, dresses, jeans, shoes," was all I heard from the other side.

I smiled.

Time to show Jacob Black that Innocent Isabella, could be a motherfucking wildcat.

* * *

**A/N: What is she planning? No one knows. What are _you_ planning? _I_ know. Because I'm watching you. From the crack in your door, the tree next to your house, and I might even be sitting on your rocking chair. Maybe I'm right behind you. Right this minute.**

**Made you look.**


	8. Every Night You Stay

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks to everybody you reviewed, story alerted, put TFHRC under their Favourites and made my day. Thank you so much guys, and keep it up, because it makes so happy.**

**For Aneesa & Sakshi, because without you, everything won't have much meaning. **

* * *

He broke up with her.

I heard it, in different versions, from five different people today.

One said that she slept with someone else.

I wanted to hit Lauren Mallory for that. Sink her own nails into her _abundant _chest. They would probably break.

Silicone is pretty hard.

I _think._

Another said that she had an STD, that's why she broke up with her.

I could punch Yorkie in the balls for that. Made sure that he didn't have any kids. Which _is_ helping the universe.

So it's not like I'm doing anything bad.

The next two said that it was mutual. This came from Angela Weber and Ben Cheney.

I wanted to thank them for looking after Bella.

They would make good friends.

_God, you douche, making Bella's friends for her, and she doesn't even KNOW you._

Whatever.

And the last one, which is probably the one that made me most murderous, said that Jacob broke up with Bella because she wasn't _willing_ to do more than kissing.

This came from Jacob Black.

I punched him in the face. She was looking.

I did a fist pump when I was alone.

Yes, it is I, The Chivalrous Edward, who would do anything for his angel.

A part of me, the most dominant was having a fiesta, and doing air humps every now and then.

God, I need her.

So.

Damn.

Much.

I was internally rejoicing, and I even opened a bottle of champagne with my mom.

That's how dad found us. Tipsy and giggling about nothing at all.

But the other part of me wanted to comfort her.

Make her smile again.

To Hold her.

Kiss her.

Love her.

"Edward!" My pixie sister screeched.

"Yes, Alice," I sighed, my voice tired and sad, yet still so extremely ecstatic.

"We're going shopping on Saturday!"

"Tell me something I don't know, Ali."

"We're going with Bella!"

_Air. Motherfucking. Hump._

"I'm fucking driving, Ali."

"Thought so," she grinned and skipped off, with that same very "I know something you don't" smile.

Alice is _the _best sister.

Ever.

* * *

**A/N: Still seeing you.**


	9. Every Single Heartbreak

**A/N: I present you... Jacob Black. And I know, I know. The chapter title is not part of the song. But the lyrics are running out. So I just made up my own.**

**Don't we all?**

**For ushallneverknow. Forever. And EVER AND EVER. (and ever)**

**Disclaimer: This is getting tiring. I DON'T OWN, sadly.**

* * *

I think I want her back.

Leah thinks I'm an idiot.

Seth's pissed off at me, because I hit on his sister.

Paul convinced the other Rez guys to hate me, because I was "_sexually harassing" _his brand new girlfriend.

Bella...

_Well._

Definitely don't know what _she's_ up to.

I think I might miss her.

That's a motherfucking understatement.

I've been doing alot of reminiscing the past few days.

I grew up with that girl.

I made mudpies with her.

I held her hand during Shrek, when all the lights were off and Mrs Crowley was staring at us creepily.

I was her first kiss when we were eight.

She was mine.

Now she's gone. And never coming back.

_Face. Motherfucking. Palm._

I heard she's going out shopping with _Alice Cullen._

That _scum's _sister.

Oh _great_. Now the girlfriend left, I feel possesive about her again.

_Fucking. A. _

Intuition told me that something would make me regret what happened ten fold more than whatever remorse I felt now.

Alice Cullen's involved.

Who _knows _what could happen?

* * *

**A/N: Kgunter34, oh I'm looking at you alright. Puts on spectacles and widens eyes. Why the specs? ****The better to see you with, my dear. Every nook, cranny, crevice, feature and contour of your face. Yeah, I'm a stalker. **

**Just. **

**Like. **

**Eduardo. **

***Swoon***


	10. Every Drive You Take

**A/N: Thanks for staying with me so far, guys! I love all of you, and I know alot about all of you too. Because I'm a stalker. Heehee.**

**For My Loving Gorilla-Aunt. (:**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight bros.**

* * *

_Well, hello. -Insert creepy-ass, pedophilicular smile here-_

I just knocked into Bella.

Her chest.

My chest.

_Oh, yeah._

"Ready to go, ladies?" I smirk and raise my eyebrows at them.

On the inside, I couldn't wait to push my sunglasses up my nose like a dork, because those fuckers were slipping down my nose.

Too bad it wasn't less...

_Perfect._

"Yes! Get your butt moving Eduardo, we plan to shop until the mall closes, right Bella?" Alice asked flashing an evil grin at Bella.

Combined with the puppy dog eyes, Alice was _UNSTOPPABLE._

Most people would look like complete turds, but not Alice.

_She is my sister after all._

Bella just squeaked in response.

"Don't let her scare you, Bella," I said, looking at Alice pointedly.

"Don't worry, I won't," she bit back.

Then she seemed astonished at her ability to speak.

My chest rumbled in silent laughter as I revved the engine and speeded all the way to Port Angeles.

"Edward, go slower!"

"Oh, fuck yes," Bella said, the same time Alice screamed at me to go slower.

"Maybe you should sit up front when we come back with _ole N__ico Fucking Hulkenberg_ up there to _enjoy _the speed," Alice said sarcastically.

But her eyes were glinting impishly.

"Sure," Bella said, smiling at me through my rear-view mirror.

_Air. Motherfucking. Hump._

* * *

**A/N: Heehee, watching you. Leave me some love, guys!**


	11. I'm Watching You

**A/N: Oh really, CrazyBookworm? Should I be scared? An Kgunter - meh. I'm too lazy. I've got a messy yard too, haha.**

**For Saksh, and all my darlings who reviewed!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and I've been wanting to for 4 years now.**

* * *

__Every last dress.

Every last skirt.

Every last shoe.

You look undeniably beautiful.

_Radiant._

Please tell me it's because of me, baby.

I _hope _it's because of me.

Do I make you smile?

Do I make you blush?

Do I make you glow with happiness?

I know I do.

_I hope I do._

What would your daddy say if he found out about me watching you in your bedroom every night?

_What would your daddy say, Edward?_

Carlisle? He would kill me.

"The right women are to be treated like your goddesses," he would say, looking Mom in the eyes and making lovey-dovey faces at her.

_But I can't help it._

Your rocking chair, your room, your face, your scent and everything else just draws me in.

I can't help be a _stalker._

Because that _is _what I am.

I admit it.

And _that _dress, baby.

Its like I'm instantly turned on whenever I'm near you.

_Please buy that dress, sexy._

I know _I _wouldn't mind peeling it off you. Do you wear lacy things underneath, baby?

"Let's go lingerie shopping!" Alice squealed.

_Alice reads minds._

Bella's eyes widened, and her face was aflame as she caught my gaze.

"Sure, Alice," you say, looking down, then peeking at me through your eyelashes.

You and Alice walked out of La Perla with bags and bags of ridiculously expensive barely-there scraps of lace, and me-

_Well._

I walked out with a massive hard-on.

You do that to me baby.

Not Lauren, Tanya or STD Stanley.

And that _scares_ me.

What will I do if you don't _want_ me back?

Will I be walking around with a _life-long_ term of blue balls?

Because I don't _want _anyone else except my beautiful, clumsy, blushing angel.

It'll always be _you._

And it kills me to know so much about you, while you know so less about _me. _

I know you wouldn't stoop to the Stalker Status, baby. I would rather you knew things about me from me telling you.

_Actually having a nice long conversation with you._

That makes me feel guilty. I know too much.

But even what I know seems too little.

I'll be anything you want me to be.

A friend.

A motherfucking _brother._

Until I'm ready to tell you.

So please don't make me stay away baby.

I couldn't bare it.

Couldn't bear staying away from _you._

_Because you're the air I breathe. Without you, I couldn't survive._

_Wouldn't survive._

_Shouldn't survive._

I'm way too far in.

Can't get out.

_Don't want to get out._

I'm crazy for you, baby.

* * *

**A/N: Do my Stalkees want me to be a little more thorough? Because I just called my connections with the FBI to get records on all of you, and even track your computers and phones.**

**Stalker enough for you to swoon in freaked-outed-ness, darlings?**


	12. Someday, I'm Going To Marry You

**A/N: And out of all these things I've done, I think I love you better now. Is it only me and Olive who have a Ed Sheeran who have a Ed Sheeran addiction? And anon, I just said what sounded the stupidest, I don't want to make you feel stalked, I just want to feel silly. And so sorry guys, I've been held up by my finals and studying and all kinds of crappy shit, and I'm going to try update as frequently as possible, but I'm not promising anything, sorry :l **

**For My WIFEY.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own, haha.**

* * *

_"Goodnight, Edward."_

Those words. Just those two words.

15 motherfucking letters.

Made me go crazy.

_Sleepover, _Alice said. I knew that with Alice around, I couldn't spend yet another sleepless but satisfying night looking over my angel.

So there I was, tossing and turning, my head fucking pounding, sweat making my wifebeater stick to my body. I had to peel it off.

_Too bad I had no Bella to ogle me._

Fucking Forks decided to have a heat wave on one of the worst nights of my life.

Worst because I couldn't see your face.

In the peace, the tranquility.

So I go down for some soda, because the heat's fucking killing me.

_Innocent, right?_

Wrong.

And there you were, in the most sinfull little yellow shorts, and blue tank top.

It was magical.

You came there the same reason I did.

Did you subconsciously miss my eyes on you, baby?

I know you did.

"Hi, Edward," you say, and it's like fucking Debussy to my ears baby.

It's like windchimes, and everything sweet in the world.

So _right._

But yet so _wrong._

"Hello, Bella," I smirk, but I'm nervous. I know you can feel it baby.

Because you smile too, amused.

And then your eyes slip down to my chest.

I don't blame you, darlin'. Years of football pays off in the end.

I catch you looking, and you blush.

You down the rest of the coke, and plant a kiss on my cheek.

_Hell. To the power of. YES._

"Goodnight, Edward," you whisper, and walk up to the stairs.

I crashed into bed, and had the best sleep I've ever had.

Not before having _a nice loooong wank._

I think I'm going to marry you, baby.

* * *

**A/N: My bleary, tired eyes find looking at you much better than at my textbooks.**


	13. Electricity Floods My Body

**A/N: Hello, darlings! It's a brand new day, and the sun is shining - where _I _am anyway, and it's my best friend's birthday! Here's a big shoutout to Aneesa, Happy Birthday, Abuela Annie Le Estrella De Porn, I love you alot. ****Sooooo, I _might_ -no promises- include some self-loving from Eddie's behalf on the next chapter, if you children behave and R&R, haha. **

**For Aneesa Marie Shaikh, and Sakshi Divija Shinghal, some of the best women in my entire, sad, miserable life. (90% of which is spent in the bush outside your house)**

**Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine. _For now._**

* * *

I can feel his eyes on me.

Whenever I'm walking to my classes, whenever I sit with him in Biology.

It's like electric shocks to my body.

It should feel _wrong._

But it's so, so _good._

He looks at me like I'm the last drink of water on a desert.

Like I'm the only girl in the whole universe, galaxy and whatever's beyond.

His playboy exterior, the whorebags, the popularity don't faze me.

I can feel his feelings radiating off him.

And he makes me feel _powerful._

He looks at me like I'm something to eat.

He makes me feel _wanted._

But what makes me _feel _the most is when he looks at me with his gentle emerald eyes.

He makes me feel _loved._

Every second without him makes me feel _dead._

But when I'm with him, I feel _beautiful, full of life_.

Like I'm _finally living._

But he isn't mine.

_For now._

"Bella," you say and knock me out of my reverie.

"Class is over," Edward says as he kisses my cheek and walks out.

I know you're smirking baby.

I see people looking at me with widened eyes.

But I can't think of anything else, but your lips on my face.

My fingers instantly touch the place where you kissed me.

I said _electric shocks _before.

But I think we just caused a blackout somewhere in the world.

Feel free to kiss me anytime.

Because I _know _that we'll kill the lights in the whole fucking milky way, baby.

* * *

**A/N: *Swoon* Oh _Edward. _I'm currently scrolling down my phone looking at pictures of him while I'm #chillin' in your backyard tree.**


	14. Tales From The Alpha Male

**A/N: The amount of reviews for Chapter 13 was so darn disappointing, I'm not trying to be a bitch here, but sorry guys no self lovin' for you, until I'm happy. Because sad me = No inspiration = No lemons.**

**For Sakshi, Aneesa, and The Louwe of Her Life. (You know who I'm talking about, goo)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own. So don't hate.**

* * *

Leaving her is by far the worst mistake I've made.

I expected her to shrivel up and cry like she did when that bastard James broke up with her.

I _wanted _her to do that.

Because I wanted to see how much I meant to her.

Which, pretty much was right next to _nada._

_She came back swinging._

Those jeans and shapeless sweatshirts now became now became sexy tops, short shorts and the most _delectable _pair of heels. Under those baggy shirts, she was fucking hot.

_Hotter than Leah Clearwater. _

_Face palm, Jake. Face. Motherfucking. Palm._

_And there she is._

Today she decided to wear an off shoulder short t-shirt and tiny blue jean shorts. Her ratty aqua converse and a million bracelets finished the casual look.

Her ugly orange backpack was now being carried by none other than that _Cullen._

Rage filled me as I saw him kiss her hand and hand her bag as he gently nudged her into English.

_She blushed._

He walked out of the class, his leather jacket over his shoulder, and a forever existing smirk on his face. But through the aviators, I knew that the smirk was just for me.

It screamed that she was his, now.

And I couldn't do shit about it.

She. Wasn't. Mine.

_Not anymore._

* * *

**Yeah. That was a midget chapter (this is a drabble, but I'm still not used to writing such short chapters, haha), but please review, so I can unleash the lemons upon thee.**

**And I'm not watching anybody tonight except The Doctor Rose because she's (unless you're a he, but how many guys read**_** Twilight**_** fanfiction anyway?) the only one that reviewed.**

**Review! Or I shall **_**smite **_**thee.**


	15. Tales From The Masochist Freak

**A/N: Oh my babies, you made me so happy! And **_**Mary Grace**_**, my woman, point well made, so - touché. (I feel like a dick now, haha) But thanks so much for reviewing everyone! Mommy's gonna give you a widdle lemon dwabble from Eddie's POV.**

**For Sak (Please don't read, you'll run away screaming because my mind is filthier than what it seems) and Anisha-Ishit (You know you'll laiiikee it wery wery muchly.)**

**Disclaimer: Twilight = Stephenie Meyer's. **

* * *

And so, the Sexy Swan, started showing off her body.

_I can imagine myself closing a storybook with that line as the end, reading it to my children._

Whom, _utterly coincidentally _didn't look a thing like me, and had big brown eyes, and mahogany hair.

But seriously, those _motherfucking _booty shorts, and _hot damn, _that top that fell off her shoulders, revealing a whole lot of milky white shoulders which turned the most beautiful shade of crimson when I held her gaze -_Yeah, bitches. I know what I do to her- _made me spontaneously combust. And I loved it.

Suck on that, Jacob Black.

_Maybe Bella should suck on you, Ed._

Emmett's words never seemed so amazing before.

I ran up to my room, shut the door, and jumped on the bed.

In a matter of seconds.

And of course, there was a box of tissues and a bottle of freesia scented lotion on my bed-side table. Which I _totally _didn't see Bella buying in Port Angeles.

_What? Didn't say that I wasn't eager. Or a hormonal teenaged boy-man._

_You just called yourself a boy-man, dude._

Face-palm.

_Moving on._

I completely rid myself of my clothes, throwing them to different corners of my room, and the whole time I was thinking about how wrong this was.

She was so… _innocent, _and I was bringing her down to _my level _like this.

_I degraded her._

It was so wrong, _but so damn right._

My head –_pun intended- _in my hand, my dick in the other.

_This time_ Bella wasn't wearing _anything _but a big, sheer white shirt –_mine, I noticed, and the animal inside me gave a roar of triumph- _cowboy boots and _man _she was holding a whip.

"_Edward," my vixen whispered, as she licked the shell of my ear. I moaned, and she seemed happy that she was having such an effect on me._

"_Edwaaaardd," she taunted, this time, her mouth at my collarbone, nipping and kissing._

_I was tied. To a chair. _

_Obviously._

_I was naked, with a raging hard-on, bound to a chair, while the minx just danced around me, planting butterfly kisses all over my body while I could do nothing but watch._

_It was one of the most sexual things that I have ever done._

_In my fucking dreams._

"_Please, Bella," I asked, her, begging, almost ready to fucking cry._

"_What do you call me, Edward?" she said, biting my back a little harder this time._

_This was my fantasy, and I could make her climb on and ride my poor abused –by my hand- cock anytime, but I liked torturing myself. Obviously._

"_Ms Swan?" I whined, hopefully. She tittered as she let go of me completely._

_This time, the whip was dancing around my skin, tickling my chest. I hesitated, wondering what the fuck my fantasy Bella wanted to be called, and the whip was getting dangerously close to my manhood. She skimmed past my balls, and I did everything I could to not fucking explode all over myself._

"_Please, Mrs Cullen," I pleaded, and she smiled in pride, as her mouth encircled my dick._

_I exploded, and could only see white._

"_God I love you."_

I said –_no, moaned- _those last four words aloud as I came all over my bare stomach. I shuddered and hissed as I cleaned myself off and threw the away the evidence.

Smelling like freesias, I went downstairs for dinner.

_Just another day, in the Cullen household._

* * *

**A/N: Lord, I'm was giggling and shoving my fist in my mouth while writing this. AND! I suggest you guys read Fifty Shades of Grey, which is one of the best, sexiest books I've read so far. And okay, I know, this is quite a long drabble, but I know the sexytimes made up for that, right?**

**And of course, I'm watching all of you. I just polyjuice-d myself, so technically I am the person who's chilling with you/outside your window/downstairs/sunbathing in your lawn like a creep.**

**Review, my darlings, I cry in happiness when you do.**


	16. In Sickness And In Health

**A/N: Okay, so an idea invaded my sexy system. And I promise, that today this story will be upgraded by a couple of chapters to make up for all my slow-ness. And if I don't, you can burn my chanclas with my feet still in them, haha.**

**For Div, and the Bean to my Vanilla. I love you guys.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight.**

* * *

It was Friday night, I was with Jazz and Em, a controller in one hand and a beer cradled in my other, my eyes glued to the game on the huge-ass screen in Emmett's basement.

Yeah, we could be huge-ass dorks if we wanted to.

Emmett was just killed by Jasper in the game, and he was currently whining like a baby –which was all he did on nights like these until we let him win- and Jasper had a little smirk of triumph on his face.

It was just like any other _normal _Friday night.

But something was wrong.

Something _big _was going to happen tonight and it scared me that I didn't know what.

But something told me that it was _my angel _who was in trouble.

I shook the feeling off and tried to smile as Jasper passed the blunt to me.

_Best weed in all of America, baby._

He exhaled a cloud of smoke and threw the controller onto the couch and walked towards the bathroom.

I let Emmett win, and then leaned back and took a hit.

Game night was over.

Usually, the rest of the night would be spent listening to Emmett telling us that he _nailed his strategy like he nails Rose _and _how he was way better at playing than we were. _We appeased the guy by letting him talk while we fell asleep with our eyes open.

_What can we say? The dude's our brother, and we love him._

I snatched the joint from Emmett and grabbed my shit. I gave Jasper a pointed look, telling him that I was going to leave. He frowned, knowing that he'd have to deal with Emmett all night.

I downed the rest of my beer and walked out.

"Give me the blunt back, bitch!" I could hear Emmett screaming while Jasper just laughed and just lit and stuck another one in his mouth, like a pacifier.

In my cloudy, drunk haze, I smirked –_yeah, bitch, I still had it_- and got into my car.

After so many years, I had mastered the art of drunk driving with a touch of pot.

I parked in front of Jasper's house, so it wouldn't be as suspicious, and walked to the Swan residence, one street down. And I did all this shit without stumbling.

_What can I say, it takes a master to pull off shit like that._

There was very little of the blunt left, so I took a long drag and buried that shit under the dirt with my heel. If there was one thing that Chief Swan could sniff out, it was marijuana.

I climbed up the tree on the side of their house and fell into Bella's balcony. I landed with a loud, dull thud, and I wouldn't be surprised if the entire Swan family –consisting of a sad number of just two and occasionally that _scum's_ father, Billy Black- woke up because of the noise I made.

I pulled open her balcony doors and took a step into the warmth of her room. I immediately felt at home.

"Edward?" her beautiful voice tinkled from the bed.

_Bella, bed, good._

"Bella," I slurred, and fell face first into that very same rocking chair that I sat in every day watching her like a sick, twisted pervert.

The alcohol and the weed I did today hit me with full force as I clutched my head in pain.

"Are you drunk, Edward?" she asked me, shaking me gently, now off the bed –_dammit_- to investigate.

"I can smell the weed on you Edward, what did you do tonight?" she chided as she stepped back to see if I was intact.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I said, and found tears in my eyes.

_What. The. Actual. Fuck?_

"Are you crying?" she asked me, her mouth gaping in disbelief, as she kneeled on the floor next to me, now examining my face, with my cheeks cradled in her soft hands.

"Where's the Chief?" I slurred a little more and tugged on her pretty hair and smiled.

"He's away until the Monday after this one, he's gone to Lacey to do some fishing with Billy," she said, trying very hard not to smile.

"Then I can do this," I said softly and wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big sloppy kiss on her cheek. I pulled her down onto my lap.

I giggled.

She giggled.

"Bel-la," I whispered, as I snuggled into her, wanting to fall asleep.

She helped me get up, take my shoes off and get into bed.

She took care of me like a child.

_I loved it._

I was patiently waiting for her until she came back upstairs with a cup of coffee and a huge red velvet cupcake that she had baked that evening.

I drank it down, and moaned at the taste of her baking, and watched silently as she took off my shirt for me, blushing the entire time like a fire engine.

_I love you, baby._

"I'll sleep on the floor," she said as she got up to leave the bed.

"No, stay," I whispered as I grabbed her waist and pulled her close to me.

I vaguely felt her kiss my head, and run her hand through my hair, and settle down next to me.

And that was how we fell asleep.

With her cheek resting against my heart, and my arms around her.

_In sickness, and in health._

_I love you._

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, yeah, do you honestly think the night's over? Especially with Edward's "**_**I know something bad is going to happen"**_**? Well, in sickness and in health, I'll still watch my ladies –**_**and men, if any**_**- here. **

**Review! And the next chapter will be coming up in a while.**


	17. Edward, Save Me

**A/N: Just as I promised :) The author notes are going to be pretty small, because I want more time to write the actual story instead. Also, I'm really sorry to my HHTH fans because that story will be taken up again **_**after **_**TFHRC is finished. **

**For everybody out there who's reading my story, and for my Bean, and Saks.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

* * *

A hard thud once again landed on my balcony for the second time tonight. It was probably some idiot from school dared to raid the police Chief's house.

_Sadly, I get this a lot._

Luckily I had closed my curtains, and locked my door so _another_ psycho couldn't get in.

I didn't want any other crazy than the one that slept peacefully, with his arm thrown over my stomach, and his head nuzzling my chest. I smiled and kissed his forehead. He looked so _young_ and boyish, with his lips sticking out in a little adorable pout.

Sharp raps on the glass door knocked me out of my reverie. This person was pretty strong, and the glass tremored with the force of the knocks.

I quickly shook Edward awake. He looked so cute and dioriented as he woke up. He opened his mouth to speak but I pressed my finger to my lips, motioning to him not to make a noise, and shoved him inside my closet and shut the door.

"Who is it?" I asked in a fake cheerful voice and pulled apart my curtain, only to be met with Jacob Black's raving mad black eyes.

I stuck my middle finger up at him, and rudely closed the curtain.

"I swear to god, Bella, open the damn door!" Jacob said, his voice slightly muffled. He sounded like he had one Jack and Coke too much.

_Dear god, why do all these drunk men end up at my house?_

"Fuck you!" I yelled and stuck my fingers in my ears to block his idiotic voice out.

_And then it happened._

He kicked open the door, and shards of glass flew everywhere and some even lodged itself in my mother's quilt.

"That's it you motherfucker, you're going to die," I screamed as I tried kicking at him.

_Please, Edward, stay where you are, don't come out, you'll get hurt fighting him._

Jacob slung me across his shoulder painfully and jumped from the balcony to the ground.

He miraculously made it down without both of us hurt.

"What are you going to do, _Spiderman_, rape me?" I asked him sarcastically while making feeble attempts to kick him in the nuts.

"More than that you little bitch," He slurred as he grabbed my chest painfully. I screamed, so he hit me on the head so I was knocked out cold.

_Edward, help me._

* * *

**A/N: She's a tough motherfucker isn't she? She's getting raped though. DONDE ESTA EDUARDO? ****Don't worry, he's a tough motherfucker too, he's going to murder Jacob, _duh._**

**Review, I shall be watching to see if you do.**

**Love and kisses to everybody who stuck with me till the end of this chapter x**


	18. Where Art Thou, Romeo?

**A/N: Allo, salut, my darlings! Super short A/N here, because I haven't updated in a loooooong time.**

**For My Bestest Friend On The Plane and Sekshey.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not owned by moi.**

* * *

It was dark as I slowly blinked my eyes open.

My head pounded, the pain radi6pating from the place where Jacob hit me.

I could barely make out the ratty couches and the wheelchair-friendly aspects of the tiny, shabby house as Jacob carried me in.

The grip he had on my sides would surely leave a mark on my poor albino-ish skin.

He snickered as he dropped me on his tiny bed and shut the door and locked it behind him.

_Well, fuck. It looks like I'm stuck with Dumbass here._

"You won't be calling me _dumbass_ when I'm done with you. You can call me _Go__d, _Izzy."

Oh, great. Mind sarcasm blabbered out with no filter.

_Gag, with the "God" comment. Where does this boy get his pick up lines from?_

_Motherfucking wikipedia?_

And what. The. _Fuck? __Izzy? REALLY?_

He seemed to take my distasteful expression for a "come hither" look - I don't blame him, he slept with Lauren Mallory, and that bitch's face seems to be stuck on a "I just ate a bucket full of lemons" expression - and pounced on me.

And he smelled like a bag of old socks.

He wasn't taking good care of himself, so it seemed.

I would have cared.

I should have cared.

I could have cared.

_But I didn't._

All I could notice now was his big meaty hands tearing away at my clothes, and mauling my breasts like he's never seen boobs before.

_Edward, my saviour, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?_

* * *

**A/N: Yeah dude, where the fuck are you? I'll update soon, my pretties.**

**Can you leave a plate of food on your back porch? Because I'm hungry.**


	19. Murderous Insanity

**A/N: Another one for the day, sweethearts! And sorry about the 'radi6pating" spelling mistake I meant 'radiating'.**

**For ushallneverknow, and Aneesa Marie (really, that's her middle name).**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

My baby's out there.

With that scumbag ex-boyfriend of hers.

Anger clouded my already hazy brain as I sunk to the floor opposite her bed.

My head knocked into the arm of the rocking chair.

_Where it all started._

I'm going to fucking kill him.

I let out a low growl as I shut the window and locked it, and made my descent down the stairs.

The walls were covered with pictures of baby Bella, from the day she was born, her tiny pink sleeping form with a curly wisp of hair atop that little precious head, up to a recent picture of Alice and Bella.

He was with this girl, doing _god knows what._

I walked -_no, ran- _to the front of Jasper's house and started my Volvo and revved the engine.

The only stop I made was Emmett's where I picked up an all-too-willing, drunken Emmett and a calm, calculating Jasper.

Amidst Emmett's slurs of "Woo baby! Fight, fight, fight!" and fistpumping the air -and constantly the back of mine and Jasper's heads- me and Jasper had a quiet conversation when I told him what had happened.

"Why exactly are we going to pound Jacob Black's face in?" Em asked, taking a break from his ape imitation.

"Because he kidnapped my Bella."

"Dude, how do you know he's at the Rez, then? For all we know, your girl could be in fucking Sasketchewan right now," Emmett said, having a point.

I groaned, running my hand through my hair, the other gripping the steering wheel tighter.

"Emmett, it would take _days_ for them to get to Sasketchewan, and the kidnapping happened _half a fucking hour ago._ They're still in the border of America, without doubt. _And _Jacob Black is not really the brightest light bulb in the circuit to smuggle Bella across the border without her passport or any ID. And he's probably taken her back to his house on the Reservation. So for God's sake, please don't make Edward angry enough to crash the car. I don't know about you, but _I_ happen to value my life," Jasper said, rolling his eyes, using his authoritative voice.

_Dayum, Jazz would make a good Major in an army. Or a psychologist. Or a __father, perhaps. Alice probably already has baby booties hidden in that... Vast closet of hers. Jasper and Alice Junior. GAG._

Em shut up for a grand total of _five seconds_ - a record, really- and the resumed chanting "Fight!" like a frat boy on crack.

I pulled up rashly in frontof that _mutt's _house, and the lights were on inside. Billy was away with Charlie, so it couldn't be anyone else except Jacob and Bella in there.

I took a swig of the whiskey that Jasper handed me sympathetically in a flash. The fire sliding down my throat made me wince, but I felt warm inside, with the alcohol and the raging inferno in the pit of my stomach.

I kicked down the doorbecause the fucker wasn't going to open the door for us anyway _- three men who wanted his head on a silver fucking platter - _and I heard my baby give out a muffled scream. I grabbed a knife off the kitchen counter.

Jasper looked at me with a frown, but I just shrugged. Who knew? This guy could be a closet psycho.

_Just like you._

_Shut the fuck up, inner voice!_

The three of us ran into his fucking room, seeing Bella's torn clothes littered around the place. Thankfully, her underwear was still on, and he hadn't done anything, _yet._

Many things happened in that very second.

Jacob's eyes widened like a deer in the headlights, his hands immediately came off Bella's hips as Jasper and Emmett pulled him away from the miniscule bed.

Bella relaxed in the bed, no longer struggling at her ties -_that fucker, only I could tie her to a bed- _and her eyes expressing her gratitude as I cut off the rope with the knife I'd found earlier on in the kitcher. I ripped apart her gag, placing a kiss on her forehead, letting her know she was safe.

She looked a little scared of me.

_I think I would too. I had a murderous insanity in my eyes. I was sure of it._

I impatiently unbuttoned my shirt and thrust it at Bella, seeing that she had nothing to wear. It was a white shirt, just like my fantasy.

_BAD EDWARD, thinking of that kind of things, at this time of all times. _

She grabbed on to me, crying as she whispered "Thank you" again and again into my chest. I squeezed her one more time as I walked towards Jacob.

There was nothing but fear in his eyes as Jasper and Emmett held him as I punched his face, leaving him sinking to the ground, groaning. I watched, confused as Jasper took a picture of the state of Jacob's room, with the rope and the torn clothes.

I later realized that we had susceptible evidence to put one Jacob Black behind bars.

I gathered my angel into my arms, and the poor thing was shaking with fear and the bitter cold of most nights in La Push and Forks.

"Baby, you're safe now," I whispered as I rocked her back and forth in my arms, sitting in the backseat while Emmett and Jasper gave us some privacy in the front seat. It was one of those times where I couldn't give a shit if someone but me drove my car.

"I love you, Edward," she whispered, her arms tightening around my neck, and her lips brushing against my neck.

"I love you too, baby. So much," I said, placing a sweet kiss on her lips.

It was _indescribable._

It was _us._

And _God, _I hoped that she didn't think that I was taking advantage of her.

"No you're not, Edward."

_Damn mental filter that doesn't exist._

"Damn," she said as she kissed me, smiling against my lips.

In the front seat, one man had the decency not to catcall, while the other smiled secretively, much like his other half.

_All was well in the land of Football God Edward Cullen, and Nerdy Little Bella Swan._

For now.

* * *

**A/N: You didn't think I was done with this were you? HAHA, you're fooled, my friend. Because High School never ends :D (Yes, that was a Bowling For Soup reference)**

**And I'm an amazing multitasker, by the way. Amidst the _he_****_llish_ happenings in this episode of TFHRC, I managed to do a ****stakeout outside your house in a rented, piece of shit minivan.**


	20. Slut Magnets and Tantalizing Twenties

**A/N: And... we level up to the Tantalizing Twenties!**

**Disclaimer: Sigh.**

* * *

It was like I had taken a picture of my middle finger, printed many copies, cut them out, and stuck them on my face, only leaving my smirk uncovered.

Life... was pretty damn amazing.

I had Edward, the love of my life, the one that I had stalkerishly stared at for days.

Charlie secretly respected Edward too, once he found out what Jacob had done and how Edward had saved me.

As I said, Life. Was Fucking A. As Emmett would say.

But the amount of fucking whores in the school?

The amount of them that would come try rub their silicone implants on Edward?

Was too damn high.

And I got hit on. A lot.

It was like the minute Edward and I became Boyfriend and Girlfriend, we were slut magnets.

Seriously.

And Edward. Sigh.

The way he kissed me, the way he hugged me. You couldn't even descr-

"Arizona!"

"Hello Michael," I said, rolling my eyes at the nickname he'd called me ever since I moved from Arizona. 5 years ago.

"So, you want to go out for dinner tonight? Just me and you?"

"Can I bring my boyfriend?" I asked him, with a sweet, bitchy smile on my face.

And then the idiot scurried away without a word.

_Thought so._

* * *

**A/N: Hey there, haven't _seen _you in a loooooong time. I like the view from down here ;)**


	21. Clubbing With The Cullens

**A/N: Oh, my darlings. The previous chapter was an absolutely shitty one, but you guys still were so sweet about it! **

**So this one's for all of you out there, who have stuck with me. And for ushallneverknow, who's my Saksh. And Aneesa, my best friend, whom I cannot live without. Even if I tried.**

**This one's for you, and you, and you. (Channeling my inner Oprah, LOL). And for the first time, in 3rd person POV!  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, and surprisingly, I don't want to either. Twilight's amazing, but it's all good old Stephenie's.**

* * *

The gyrating bodies and the pulsing beat swirled around him. A red-head grasped his arm, giggling. Her grip was iron, and it was hard to get her to let go.

He needed a drink.

He finally managed to let go, of this girl and his inhibitions and moved his body, the music filling him, warming him inside-out. He cracked a smile, and let out a steady breath.

"I know this song," he said to no one in general.

"Everybody does," the red-head snapped, unhappy that he had shaken her off.

He rolled his eyes, and strode towards the bar, his good mood slipping down the drain.

That was when he saw something he would never forget.

In the middle of the crowd of catcalls, cheers and enthusiastic fist-pumpers, atop the bar, was her.

Her mile long legs seemed to shine under twinkling lights, enhanced by the tall fire engine-red heels. And on her curvy body, was a sinfully short dress of the most luscious blue.

Her brilliant chocolate eyes twinkled as one slender hand fisted in the curly, mahogany mane that fell down to the small of her back. The other cradled a bottle of Finland's finest vodka. Her lips curved into a smirk as she shook her hips to the beat.

She mouthed the words to the song and winked at him. Her pale, luminous skin glowed in the dark, just like the fake nerdy glasses she wore. The cheap neon orange frame complimented her bright, coral lips.

He pulled away from the red-head again and made his way closer, mesmerized.

He was pulled out of his daze as a soft hand pulled him up to stand on the sleek bar-top. She put her arms arms around his neck, and pressed a flushed cheek against his chest.

He smelt like tequila, cigarettes and heaven - the perfect combination to her.

"I've been waiting," she whispered into his ears, nipping it playfully.

"I know," he grinned.

His hands roamed as her body arched to his touch. She jumped from the bar with cat-like grace and slid into the crowd, her eyes daring him.

_Hate to see you leave, but love to watch you go._

He smirked as he followed her to a private nook in the pulsing club. He leaned down and captured her lips.

* * *

**A/N: You want to go clubbing with the Cullens? If you have to sneak out, I'll catch you when you climb out of your window ;)**


	22. Tales From The Inner Goddess

**A/N: Ehh, last chapter didn't have enough citrus and drama for me. **

**For my readers. And Azza and Shreka.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, but I do own a limited edition Euro Tour 2012 Coldplay t-shirt. (EEEEEEEE!)**

* * *

The dim, purplish light filled the empty hallway as he pushed me up against the wall.

We could hear faint strains of the pulsing music from the club.

His short stubble rubbed against my collarbone as he peppered kisses on my neck.

"Baby, you have no idea how much I want you," he whispered in my ear before biting my earlobe, in a husky voice that dripped _sex._

And instead of something witty and sexy that most of the female population would have responded with, I gasped, as he brought his hips to mine.

I wanted to rip his clothes off, and go down on him.

But I couldn't, because he had pinned my arms above me with one hand, and the other was roughly squeezing my ass, which he seemed to like very much.

I could hear giggles from the starting of the hallway, but I couldn't bring myself to give a shit.

It was just me, and Edward Cullen, the sexiest man alive, making out like the hormonal, kiss-starved teenagers we were.

Minus the kiss-starved part.

_Because we've been doing A LOT of THAT lately._

I lifted my legs and wrapped them around his torso, my high heels digging into his thighs.

_But he didn't seem to mind._

He moaned - _fuck me, if that wasn't the hottest thing I've heard in my life - _and slowly let me down, sliding down his muscular body, savoring the feeling._  
_

I let out out sound of protest which he effectively silenced with a searing kiss. One of his hands went back to my ass, and the other palmed my breasts.

_Holy. Fucking. Shit. _

"Fuck," he swore, as my hand snaked down to his thighs, dangerously close to _there._

He grabbed my hand roughly and pressed it to his erection.

"You feel that? That's what you fucking do to me."

"Oh Edward, you feel so good."

Except I didn't say that. Emmett did. In extremely high falsetto that would give Justin Bieber a run for his money.

Edward pushed away from the wall, swearing, ready to hit Emmett.

I straightened out my dress, blushing. Fuck knows what my hair looked like. After all that rubbing up against the wall.

_Against the wall, fuck yes._

Visions of Edward taking me against the wall filled my brain, and I turned an even darker shade of red, if that was possible.

Fantasizing was all I seemed to do these days.

"You can continue this later, you're all sleeping over at our house tonight," Alice smirked, raising one perfect eyebrow at me, coming to Emmett's rescue.

_Sleepover at the Cullen Residency. _

Alice Cullen is involved. Who knows what could happen?

* * *

**A/N: Do you want to come sleepover with me? In the bushes? We could paint each other's nails and swoon at Zac Efron in The Lucky One.(EEEEEEEEEEEEE!)**


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